First off, big hugs to you all! Handling a child with ADHD is a struggle all by itself, but add in your diagnosis and your husbands diagnosis and that is a minefield! Give yourself a break from the guilt; you are handling your own diagnosis and your partners at the same time as your child’s and that is A LOT!
After her diagnosis, what was the recommendation by the person that diagnosed her? Therapy, medication, etc? What about you and your husband, therapy, medication, etc?
My son is 9 and is ADHD w/ anxiety/depression. He is on medication (not for everyone I know, but that is what we choose), has had therapy (currently on a break per therapist) and my husband and I both go to therapy as well. Therapy has done wonders for our family. However, we needed to find the right medication for my son before we could give therapy a try, as his brain just would not let him settle enough to get the most out of therapy. We still have small daily battles, but are in such a better place than we were a year ago.