Unfortunately, the ADHD partner might not be able to help out when you’re sick, injured, or old. My partner was willing to do eŕrands when I was injured, because he liked to do outdoor things. I still had to hobble around and do all the cooking and cleaning.
But when I was too ill to cook, he said, “Okay, I’ll just cook something for myself.” I was supposed to lie there and starve.
I’m not bashing him; he was a caring person. This is just the reality I lived with.