My son is 9 and we have been on this crazy roller coaster for 4 years! He is ADHD combined w/ ODD tendencies and anxiety. If I had to start all over again, I would highly recommend getting a cheek swap test through like Genesight or another company like it. We did this 2 years in and I wish we would have done it sooner! My son is resistant to almost all stimulants (which would explain why none of them really ever worked) and has reduced efficiency to most medications. We see an excellent child psychologist and he has helped us find the right medications to help my son. Now, that being said, I will say that we do lose a little of his personality with medication, but we know it is a small price to pay right now to regulate his brain.
Medication can so often be trial and error and it is very frustrating on all ends, but if you persist you will find the best one for her. Good luck and big hugs to you both.