Yes! The Ross Greene book is the one I was trying to recall. Thank you!
I totally agree these boys need discipline, I think this forum is trying to encourage you not to take on the bad guy role. Not because you will warp the boys, but because more likely they’ll just learn to ignore you and then you will have no power whatsoever. This is not unique to ADHD, it is common to all teens. The yes mom I hear you… “Got it.” might sound satisfying in the moment, but when you realize they never intended to do it and are lying to you, you’ve lost all hand.