Reply To: Feeling overwhelmed by my spouse's ADHD

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LoriR
Participant

Many thanks to those who provided further info.

As I mentioned, I believe I have ADHD too, but I’ve worked so hard at “functioning” and taking tnings seriously that it’s hard for me to remember what I used to be like.

Also, I had no knowledge about ADHD (other than some.vague awareness of schoolboys taking Ritalin), so I had no mental framework for ubderstandingwhat was going on.

Enter my wonderful boyfriend, who let me down many times. I had the typical reactions: thinking he was lazy, lying, and didn’t care. I thought if I told him something once, that was enough. And I thought some things were too obvious to mention.

I tried desperately to figure out what was wrong with him and/or our relationship. Eventually I found out about ADHD, and spent many months learning whatever I could through books, websites, and YouTubes.

But after 2 years of anger, resentment, and resignation, and having developed the lifestyle of a full-time servant, it was too hard for me to become a loving and understanding companion. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for spouses who have been doing this for much longer, with children thrown into the mix.

I wish I had known about ADHD when this relationship began. I think things would have been much better for us.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by LoriR.
  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Penny Williams.