Reply To: If you could go back in time and do it all over again, would you?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones If you could go back in time and do it all over again, would you? Reply To: If you could go back in time and do it all over again, would you?

#122452
Kat13
Participant

The problems aren’t with my husband as such. He has ADHD. He also has two ex-wives and, as a result, I have 3 step-children. That’s where the problems are. That’s what I would think more carefully about if I had to do it all over again. When it’s just the two of us things are good. I resent that his 2 ex-wives left and that I have raised the youngest step-child single-handedly. That’s caused so much resentment, along with the lack of respect for my position as ‘mother’ from one of the older step-children. Did the ADHD lead to the breakdown of his first 2 marriages? Of course, but only when the kids came along. Both his divorces happened when the kids were really young. We haven’t had kids together because of our ages, but I’ve still been left with all this to deal with, which is really unfair. His second wife disappeared and has no contact. Tough on the child, but tough on me too. I know it was my choice, but I wasn’t really fully-informed when I made that choice, and now I love him so much that I muddle on and look forward to some child-free time in the future. It’s not that I don’t love my youngest step-child, it’s that I want the parenting to be more shared and to not feel so burdened with everything. It’s too easy for him to snuggle down in his ADHD blanket and wait until the parenting is done for the day.