Please scroll down to last sentence when you become bored!
My 23 year old son (still awaiting diagnosis around ADHD – it’s a long story of poor advice and lack of funding in the UK National Health Service) does NOT want anyone poking their nose into his business and advising him … until he’s, yet again, up sh*t creek without a paddle. Then it’s everyone/anyone else’s fault (but usually mine).
Yesterday he narrowly avoided another custodial prison sentence because I accepted responsibility, in Court, to get him to 35 Community Order meetings. He complained vehemently that he’ll be expected to attend 35 meetings in 18 months and that (although he is not in employment) it will be difficult for him to find time to attend. I gently reminded him that I must attend all of those too, and I am self-employed.
Son’s Current ‘Difficulties’:
Fell in love in March & moved in with girlfriend.
Fell in love with & took home kitten in April.
Girlfriend pregnant in May.
Arrested in June for assaulting a Police Officer.
Social Services flagged up possible future child protection needs.
Domestic Violence Prevention Notice given end of June (ignored after 4 days).
Son & GF (& their pets) will be evicted on Monday (she will be rehoused as she’s pregnant).
His previous numerous evictions, anti social behaviour, criminal damage, assault & drug use will render him homeless.
Son now expects us to sort out all the above. Because: “No one’s ever helped me. You’re my parents, don’t you understand, that’s what families are for”
He was not brought up to act the way he does. We are sober, hardworking, caring people. From listening to ADDitude podcasts, I do appreciate we must speak to him kindly, not shout, not expect him to do something he cannot, tackle one sensitive issue at a time. However, he brings out he worst in me. I want to shout at him. I want to kick his backside (hard). I cannot tackle one issue at a time because he’s already moved onto some other risky, immoral, illegal, aggressive, anti social issue.
I am sorry ffall, I have no advice, but I do feel your pain and I sincerely hope it improves for you.