Hi, The Priory in Bristol has specialists in ADHD. They have couples counselling there and lots of other support for those with ADHD and their partners. There are Priory centres in other parts of the UK. I don’t know if they have any distance support.
I have been married to my husband for 12 years. I am his third wife. We have a lot of complications in our marriage but learning that he had ADHD was a ‘lightbulb moment’. My husband tries to engage in conversation and means what he says at the time, e.g. agreeing to things, but then is completely incapable of remembering what we agreed and incapable of following through with anything. I read a book recently called The ADHD Effect In Marriage by Melissa Orlov, maybe you’ve heard of it. It was way too simplistic in its solutions but it did give me some more insight into the strange workings of my husband’s brain. It sounds as if you might need some outside help with your situation to stop things deteriorating further. I’ve found that gaining as much knowledge as I can and also talking to someone else about things has been really helpful.