I find it most helpful to put away the shoulds and ask yourself, “What can I do or what do I need to be able to succeed at X?” If you’re more visual, could you create a photo cheatsheet and use that? Or a symbol relationship if that would help?
And, when something just isn’t a good fit, look for something different. Maybe waiting tables isn’t a good fit for you (it isn’t a good fit for a LOT of people). What might play more to your strengths and not require so much of areas of weakness?
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism