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Thanks tlharriss. I didn’t answer the general question which was would I do it all over again – no. I consider myself a strong person but the first time we split up it shook me to my core and I nearly didn’t come back from it. I have absolutely everything to the detriment of my own health only to suffer abuse and then he got bored often chatting to other women on FB and left me for a 16 year old ( he was 38). In the few years we separated he had a child to someone else. He is just hyperfocused on that now. My feelings and needs have been irrelevant this time round. I’ve felt invisible, unloved despite his messages saying he did. I wanted to believe him but I didn’t. I feel like I have been used as a taxi, somewhere to stay and I’m left dealing with the consequences. He ended the whole relationship because I said no to buying alcohol which days how little he really thought of me. It’s been a few weeks now and not a word or apology. Just a message to say I had destroyed any feelings he had for me. All I’ve done is try and support him and I’m left feeling like this. He won’t get help, take medication or have therapy. He certainly won’t take responsibility for his actions and always ends up walking out of a job. I don’t want to be a carer, I do it as a job and don’t want to have to be doing it in my personal life. I need someone who is going to care for me and help me for a change.