Wow, just saw all responds, thank you so much lovely people!
You all have good reasonable suggestions and whats been happening since last time is that my spouse talked more about me with them and they said they had understood that I have difficulties and were not taking it personally. We don´t live near each other so the chance for me to tell them myself is nearly impossible and if we gonna make them dinner it also means they have to stay over which is something i want to avoid (cause it causing me fatique). We dont get together often and i have the feeling they really dont care that much really that I feel its my job so explain this further. If I felt some real closeness I would definitely explain more but often when we get together their focus are mostly on themselves and their own lifes, not ours.