Reply To: If you could go back in time and do it all over again, would you?

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#121874
enname
Participant

Yes, I would. But then again I never saw him as some sort of perfect partner, nor got the three month hyper focus. He has always been himself at me from the moment we started talking – erratic, incredibly hedonistic, impulsive, a catastrophic mess with a tendency to forget to listen and to vanish. As the counter to this he has always been sweet, thoughtful, surprisingly dedicated to me (no idea why, lol), compassionate, determined to build the relationship slowly, and – importantly – one of the only people to treat me entirely as an equal without any hesitation. Which is what I value – I have never wanted someone to run a house with, nor someone to be the bread winner, etc.

Things are chaotic, but you know? I actually like that. Work is so controlled my inner nihilist needs somewhere to burn. Sure, he has a temper – mostly born out of frustration, and while he will occasionally rewrite episodic memory, he does not lie deliberately to me. But I also have a temper especially when I feel shit about myself, so he works to restrict it to ‘things’ and I make sure not to punish him unfairly because of my own trauma. As long as he remembers to come back to me, and I make sure not to accidentally shame him … we continue on. 🙂

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by enname.