I’m sorry you are having such a hard time, you are far from alone.
I was fortunate in that I was diagnosed as a kid and now as an adult they’ve taken my word for it. I have high deductible insurance but my mental health provider is very good at working with the insurance. It took me some time to find them though and a couple false starts as well as people being obtuse about what I thought were straightforward questions.
I wish I had concrete ideas for you, I have a couple of weak ideas in terms of talking to them about your issues, like perhaps printing some of the questionnaires on here and talking with a doctor or therapist about your answers to the questions. The trouble of course is getting the appointment and paying for it in the first place.
How do you respond to caffeine? Is it helpful or does it scatter you more?
Have you tried the fish oil supplements? They help me just a little, I noticed their absence when I ha to stop taking them for a procedure, even though on a day to day basis they don’t seem like much.
I guess I didn’t want your thread to go unanswered because that feels so discouraging!