Reply To: Metaphor: Wanting a Garden Without Nurturing It

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Oh definitely. I have made him a card when we began dating and he really enjoyed it and even kept it around for a while. I asked him if he would mind if I did that again and he sounded very impressed that I would make another well, his birthday comes around and he opens his gift and he opens the card and doesn’t say anything and nothing was appreciated. That would not have happened when we first started dating. Keep in mind that our relationship lasted 1 year and a half and his birthday was two months prior to the end. Another thing is that he would make me feel guilty surrounding gift-giving. Often I would give him something very thoughtful that wasn’t necessarily worth a lot of money and he would verbalize a reminder something like this ” I thought you had ordered me that automatic door locker for my vehicle where is that because I really need it and if you aren’t going to get it then that was a terrible thing to have discussed with me because I put off buying it myself 4 months”. Now that wouldn’t have happened when we first started dating. Another thing is that in Canada we get an awful lot of snow and especially where we live near the mountains. Now he lived in the basement of his parents house and his parents were fairly well off to afford to go to Hawaii in the dark cold months of January and February. Never did he ever shovel the stairways and entrance way and sidewalk leading up to his house for the postal workers nor did he take care of the sidewalks out front of the property which is a city by law that you can be ticketed for. Let alone I had a broken leg and was on crutches and if he picked me up and took me back to his place there was no way that I could safely make it even to the exterior of his house. This is showing to me that he just did not care. ADHD can be that way and it is absolutely brutal for the partner to experience. I got sick of all the allowances I had to make for this individual. I couldn’t even visit him in his home and he wouldn’t invite me over more than twice in a year and a half because his place was either so messy or riddled with leftover s*** from all his partying and marijuana use. Yes he was not medicated at all for this ADHD however he was convinced marijuana made his life better and more functional. He wasn’t using marijuana when I met him either by the way
I’m so happy this relationship ended it was the biggest weight of my entire life off of my shoulders