Oh boy, I happen to come across this posting yesterday evening, after having a huge discussion with my 12yr old about lying. we went back and fourth about him damaging things and then denying it “it wasn’t me mom” . the conversation escalated rather quickly, but something interesting happened at some point he told me “mom it’s very hard for me to tell you the truth, I always feel like I’m going to get into more trouble, or I just can’t tell you the honest truth, it just doesn’t come out of my mouth” I was amazed that he even was aware of this! that immediately calmed me down, I sat next to him, I told him we can work on this and offered support. I started with having the whole conversation about lying and how he gets into more trouble telling a lie then the truth, after that we spoke about trust, if I was able trust you we would be able to get along better and I won’t have to question you 100x’s like he hates! we agreed on trying to work on this. COMMUNICATION and PATIENCE is key . I use to yell before and call him a liar and drill him “why is he lying?” that just left us both mad, and 9 out of 10x’s it led to a punishment that was not necessary. sigh…. thank you all for sharing your stories.