Reply To: Metaphor: Wanting a Garden Without Nurturing It

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#120439
musicalmrsc
Participant

Thanks for the advice everyone. Father’s Day came and went without me spending $1,200 on that lawn mower. He didn’t mention it directly, but he threw my Father’s Day card in the trash and told me that the shirts I got him didn’t fit. He stomped around angry at me all day. It was a good thing I didn’t get the lawn mower, because our fridge broke and then I find out that we should replace our hot water heater and furnace because they are past their average life span. He’s currently telling me that he wants fancy replacements for those because we could gain a few square feet if we go with the expensive ones. This will mean ripping out walls… I’m envisioning staring at bare studs for the next several years. Here is what is confusing to me: Before we got married, he would have never thrown my card in the trash and been angry with me. Before we got married, he wouldn’t have lied about having the furnace inspected annually. Before we got married, he was able to take a project from start to finish (eventually). Before we got married, he was able to plan vacations and we actually went. Since we’ve been married, he’s a different person. Is he now comfortable showing his ADHD around me? As far as I’m aware, he’s never been on any medication. It’s like I’m living with a different person. Anyone have experience with this?