In addition, re the lights. I started removing lightbulbs. Now they don’t forget. So is it adhd or bad parenting? Still I’m finding it very hard to differentiate. The 15 year old cocks his head whenever I talk and I understand that I’m very influential at the moment. He has never been taught social skills and parents still treat him like an 8 year old, which is not fair to him. So yes I am a wicked step mum/ogre who has their best interests at heart (some for me, I don’t want hands that have just wiped a bum on my fridge) but no one claps louder than me when they succeed. I offer career advice when they seem to have an interest and for example offer to pay for private programming classes etc. again and again I can’t differentiate what is adhd and lax parenting where kids are in front of computer 24/7 on school vacation or 8 hrs a day on school days and have never been taught how to wipe a bench or clear a plate. See where I’m coming from?