Reply To: ADHD 15 yr old Stepson

#119761
ffall
Participant

Hi Andy, thanks for your lengthy response. Must have taken a while. I guess what I’m trying to say is how did you get to university if you never completed any school work? Did someone have to stand over your shoulder every day for hours EVERY TIME something was due? When you have a shift at work do you tell your wife you covered it when you didn’t and just not shown up to work? Do you remember to turn the lights off and clean up after yourself every single time without fail, once you knew you were in real trouble. Is it ok to lie about homework so you can play video games 24:7? Because I have understood that’s it’s all good and well if they are interested in the reward but other than that I can’t expect them to get anything accomplished. It seems the only way to get them to do anything is absolutely lose my shit and yell. In addition there was a lot of lax parenting before I came along. Husband acknowledges this. 21 yr old’s boyfriend actually said to me my mums house is perfectly clean but I don’t know why when I’m hear I don’t give a f***. At the same time I know two youngest have ADHD. So I’m struggling with how to differentiate between the unmotivated behaviour unless it involves video games, and lack of life skills (that were never previously taught by parents) and the ADHD. I’ve looked up subjects like when your teen opts out re school. And advice given is say ‘ultimately I would like you to get a’s and b’s but do you think a c will get you a good gpa?’ But that won’t work because we are not doing anything unless someone is standing over their shoulders. Do you have homework? No. A week later.. why is this a 0? (Shrug)