The more I think about this- rereading “wanting a garden without nurturing it”- so completely describes my family… and convinces me (even more than I already thought) that either I was the only sane one or all of my “issues” somehow added up to normal-ness. It explains why I was yelled at for being a messy kid AND why no one bothered to show me a better way (don’t look in their closets or cabinets…) or give me the tools (even as little as 2 small laundry baskets instead of a bin bigger than me or a safe step stool for me to reach up in my closet… ). Why my offers or attempts to do things have always been met with anger and contempt.
In my trials to “get counseling” I was never able to “break through” because I DID know what to do, but wasn’t powerful enough to override the adults in my life and their calling me the bad part. Even as an adult, it has seemed like every little bit I improve myself (and I do not!!! talk about it) the more everyone else shuns me. Ridicules me.
Thank you, WarmMuddle! You may have saved my sanity.