Reply To: Lying…when it's obvious

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#119283
texcyn
Participant

I am new, but felt compelled to reply to this one. I was a horrible liar as a child. Like you, my mother would ask me time and time again whether I had eaten the cookies or whatever the offense was at the moment, despite clear evidence that I was lying. I would look her in the eye and swear up and down I hadn’t done whatever she was accusing me of. I was in constant fear of consequences. But when I was reading your post it struck me that what if the offense was taken for granted as the having been committed. That is to say, rather than “did you pee in the bathtub?” Approach it with something like this, “looks like you peed in the bathtub let’s get out and run fresh water.” If she denies it after that, just brushed it aside as no big deal. “ I see some yellow in the water, let’s start with fresh water.” When I reflect on how I would’ve felt as a child if my mom had approached it like that I would’ve felt relief on several levels. One, I didn’t have to lie, two, I made a mistake and it’s OK and three, I made a mistake and mom loves me anyway.
Just my thoughts.