Reply To: Spouse pretend I'm "normal" to his family

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Naturally one’s heart goes out to you especially if you have ADD as I do too. I think the first issue is the one that surrounds ‘shame’. there is too much of it around the inexplicable nature of ADHD and ADD. Both the sufferer and those around them who cannot get to terms with things like defiance, oppositional and other behaviours. Dealing with shame is something Brene Brown does very well in her books and in her YouTube events all available on YouTube. The minute you let shame out of the silence, shame cannot survive, (is what she says), cannot control you any further….shame dies, and you gain power over it. I won’t suggest a venue necessarily although that too is good. But to take power you have to articulate this issue with his family and a carefully worded letter or email should do it, and learn enough about your condition to carry on raising your own awareness of the condition and why this challenge makes you a very courageous, loveable and entitled human being. But you cannot in my opinion back down from learning that you should never let shame or its lesser brother guilt harm your hard fought self esteem and self worth….good luck