Reply To: Outbursts of Anger

#119192
Phillipa60
Participant

It never ceases to amaze me when things like this happen… I came onto the site just now to start a post about H’s anger outburst last night and find this thread at the top of the list in the forum…. wow!
I have just read the whole thread and find so many common areas with what I am going through.
I am sending my love and support to all.
Specifically what happened last night is that we had the extended family over, including our 3 grandkids (10, 7, 5) so as usual it was crazy, noisy and boisterous. I love it but H simply cannot deal with it – I guess this is part of the ADHD, right?
So he retreats into his study to chill (which I encourage…) but without me noticing (I am constantly watching, trying to prevent the issues, but obviously this doesn’t work all the time!) GK #2 (aged 7) went into the study and started provoking H, taking his favorite pen away, teasing and mocking him, and (apparently) eventually threw the pen down. Not nice behavior, but he’s a KID. Next thing we see, child is in the lounge and H runs in after him screaming and literally JUMPS ON THE LIVING ROOM TABLE and grabs the child’s arm, screaming at him….
The whole room went silent, everyone was shocked, I was mortified….
Our daughter took the child outside and asked him what happened and here’s what he said “I wanted to get grandfather angry, to get all the bad parts out of him so that he will be calm and a nice person” (words to that effect).
H quickly calmed down but the rest of the evening was a mess and I am just completely fed up with dealing with this shit all the time. The grandkids are a huge and important part of my life and I cannot see how to get through this.
My daughter is saying she wants to stop him from spending time with all 3 of them together, and maybe even separately (he was supposed to be with the kids tomorrow while I am working and now she says she doesn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone with them).
I am at my wit’s end.
I think he needs medication to stay calm and we are seeing the psyc on Tuesday so will see what he says.
Excuse the vent and post hijack but it felt relevant enough to the topic to share.
All and any suggestions are very welcome.
Phillipa