Hi. I have a son with ADHD anxiety and ASD. Hes now 12. We have been doing what you are doing for about 7 years. We have seen loads of people. Everyone is different. He doesnt really like stims and nor do i (I have ADHD). Its hard when you have more than one thing going on and when they are 7 they cant explain themselves as well as we can.
My view is that the main aim for me is for him to be happy. Ritalin etc made him better at school and more compliant but worse at home an more anxious and emotional. He still had massive emotional outbursts, screams and shouts, was very rude to adults, got a bad rep at school, nobody allowed to play with him etc. No chance of a school camp or outing without us there, teachers simply wouldnt do it.
Anyway I am pleased to say hes doing great and I am very proud. Hes started a new school with hardly any issues. He can play sport without being sent off or running off. He is much more calm and measured. Every year we look back and hes go a bit better, but the one thing I would say, without doubt, that has made the most difference to his mood and emotional regulation is
risperdal. We wrung our hands about it. It wasnt what you would choose, but its made a massive difference to him. He sleeps well on it and he is a mostly happy boy.
he takes a pretty low dose at night.