Reply To: Help… adhd is actual hell and ruining everything.

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#117000
JadeFlores
Participant

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you are going through. I’ve been going through a kind of burnout at work off and on. I find that taking time every week to do something that is creative helps me to feel refreshed and energized better than any rest I could take. I’d definitely take a look at everything you are doing and seeing if you have too much. It seems like you have a lot on your plate and I think that many of us with ADHD feel that we have to do everything or we are some how deficient. But the truth is that no one can do everything and we often take on far more things at once than we can handle and somehow we think it’s normal and our fault when things go wrong.
As far as work, just try keeping your thoughts to yourself for a while and definitely don’t mention your ADHD there. Many people, thought they might normally be kind, view things like that as an excuse for not doing things right or to want special treatment. It’s just kind of how we’ve been taught to think. Instead try to journal (digital works best for me, I use Evernote) some of those thoughts and feelings. It may help you to see why some things would or wouldn’t work so you can sort through all of your ideas a suggestions and you can complain as much as you want and not have to worry about anyone’s feelings. If you need special accommodations at work try to find strategies that you can do by yourself such as wearing head phones to cut out distractions or making mundane work tasks into mini challenges or games in your mind. It might sound childish but it helped me keep my focus when I needed it on the task at hand but it was super boring. If others ask why you are doing something a certain way just tell them it helps you concentrate or you found it’s more efficient. They may think it’s a little quirky but unlike when you mention ADHD they won’t think you need special help, they’ll just accept it as is. Because humans are weird that way.

Also, yes, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can really help over time. It might not be helpful for everyone but it can help you to find alternative ways to get things done. Our main problem is that we live in a world that is set up to be optimal for everyone else but not for those who are neuro-divergent like us. So our best strategy is just to find out little hacks and ways to work around our differences to get the same tasks accomplished. It’s a bit unfair that we have to work harder to do some of the same things but we tend to be more awesome than most people so I think that makes up for it. lol But seriously, not only can CBT help you to find strategies that work for you but it can also help you to learn when you are being too hard on yourself because that stuff can be crippling all by itself.