For the record, My angry and abusive Ex-Husband did not have brain issues. He did not have ADHD/ADD or Aspergers.
He flipped a switch one day, about 4 years into our marriage, after the birth of our son. Suddenly he was angry all the time. Nothing I said or did was good enough. He complained constantly and criticized me and said hurtful things to me regularly.
He took advantage of me when I was depressed. ( I have a history of depression going back 30 years now. )
Because I allowed him to treat me this way for over a decade, and finally got away from him I refuse to live like that ever again.
I don’t care what the reason/excuse is, no one will EVER abuse me, or rage at me ever again. I won’t tolerate it. I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than subject myself to such treatment.
And yes, I can empathize with others. I understood that my Ex-husband’s Dad was controlling and had a temper. My Dad had a temper also, and wanted things done his way. I have never abused others because of how I was raised. I’m an adult and know better. If a person has brain issues and that causes them to be rageful and angry, that is sad and unfortunate. It is also a total mind f**k for the person on the receiving end. My ex would act like he didn’t remember what he said and did, then be pissed at me when I kept my distance. Nothing excuses his behavior.