I’m sorry to hear you went through that. As a survivor of abuse myself, I can completely empathize.
As an ADHDer, I can say that while it isn’t an excuse, sometimes we literally have ZERO CONTROL over our reactions and to anyone reading this PLEASE understand that means that we need HELP. we are not monsters, we are people with a neurological disorder. Sometimes outburst of rage are a SYMPTOM of this and it CAN be fixed.
Just like people with Alzheimer’s or ASD can become physically violent as a result of the impacts on and functions of their brains, emotionally charged outbursts from ADHDers can be a result of ours.
Abuse is never okay and ADHD isn’t an excuse. But we aren’t monsters. We are people with a medical condition who are already regularly treated by the whole world like all the “bad” things we do — like forgetting, getting distracted, talking out of turn — are intentional. We are people who, without the proper medical care and social support, are prone to depression and anxiety and rarely feel understood.
I’m not asking anyone to forgive or excuse their abusers, but I’m asking you to please recognize that there can be serious negative impacts as a result of having a Lifelong “problem” with your BRAIN, especially if you’ve gone most of your life undiagnosed and to please recognize that we aren’t evil. We aren’t monsters. And a lot of time we really, truly can not control our emotions.
Like at all. Like it’s as if we were 5 years old. And it feels that way to us too.
Can you even imagine what that’s like?
I’m not asking you to forgive your abuser. I’m asking you to have compassion for people with brain issues.