Reply To: I'd rather be alone than ignored – normal?

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GroundHogDayEveryDay69: Could you elaborate a bit on 1st and 2nd testing process? My husband’s assessment was brief, and very superficial. 3 x 1 hr sessions. #1 was introductions, then half me speaking to doctor, other half my husband speaking to doctor. #2 my husband went alone, half of time was spent on computer test. #3 was not assessment, just debriefing. I think this doctor rests his laurels on being an author of a book, and catchy ADHD acronym, rather than on strength of his practice.

No educational history was provided (report cards, etc.). He didn’t even fill out the paper questionnaire he was given. Dr. Bilkey requested no info or testimony from his birth family. I had a chance to speak to how his condition manifests itself in our family. But the assessment relied mostly on my husband’s personal testimony (which is very egosyntonic – i.e., he sees all of his unusual behaviours as consistent with his carefree, fun-loving personality), and weighed heavily on a computer “boredom” test.

For diagnosis, an adult must experience impairment in two areas of life (family/home, education, social relationships, work), but since mine was the only testimony provided other than his own, the only impairment was in his home life – thus, insufficient for a diagnosis. My husband provided no educational information (other than personal testimony).

He has found himself the PERFECT job: he absolutely LOVES what he does, it provides variety and excitement (variable hours, works with different people every day, travels to different places every day, and gets to socialize in different cities, restaurants, bars almost every day), but the job itself is very structured, with routines, and repetition which he has mastered. He has no immediate supervisor to see that he is late EVERY DAY – so, subjectively he suffers no impairment at work. And he has developed the most charming personality to help him get out of almost any situation, so when the occasional hiccup occurs (missing a deadline or some other minor mishap) he is able to charm his was out of it.

Because his father suffered severe mental health issues (various diagnoses including bipolar disorder, and from what I know of him and his work history, may possibly have had ADHD as well) – by comparison, his birth family sees my husband’s behaviour as “normal”.

Socially, no issues. My husband is gregarious, fun, charming and kind. People are more than willing to laugh off and forgive his constant tardiness, and any “unusual” behaviours.