Hello, I feel your pain. Your post is also the story of MY life. I agree with others please start by stop beating yourself up. It makes it worse and it does not help. Here are my suggestions from things I recently discovered that have given me hope. We are NOT alone! And we are NOT a hopeless cause. We are amazing we are just different and we need to understand ourselves so we can learn how to be successful.
1- Visit “How to ADHD” Channel even if you dont have the hyoeractive part.
1a) Read the Channel Creator Jessica McCabe’s TEDx TALK “Failing at Normal an ADHD Success Story”
1b) Jessica’s fish song
1c) How to ADHD Channel watch at least 2 videos
2- Two tools I learned about that seem to be helping
2a) Read about Pomorado Timer Technique
Helps us who are time blind develop sense of how long things take and helps focus
Free APP fo cell phone & devices Google Play Store
2b) The Bullet Joural an organizatonal tool that might REALLY work for ADHD & ADD
3- Search ADD Magazine site and search internet fir other ADD/ADHD resources for ONE most important specific thing you need help with. Has to be YOUR decision. I think being on time is a great start. Pomodoro Technique above can help. Also aim to be 30 to 60 minutes early and plan a reward for yourself when you arrive EARLY. A fav coffee drink, 10 minutes chat with a friend, something YOU LOVE! Be sure to set a timer so dont take too long reward & still be late.
4- IF you can afford it try to attend this workshop. Wish I could afford to but I cant right now.
Eric Tivers ADHD Rewired
Most imporantly don’t give up til you find what works for YOU. Don’t keep trying what has not worked. Don’t kerp trying things that work for non-ADHD folks. Our brains are different, remember Jessica’s Fish Song. Do keep learning and trying more new things until you find what works for you. It may be hard, even very hard. BUT if you keep trying NEW things you will find what works for YOU!
Try to have a good day and re-newed hope. With great understanding and compassion, my thoughts and prayers are with you.