Reply To: Struggling to understand him

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I’m so glad that you are thinking in this manner confuzzled. I just have to report that I did stop giving my boyfriend more time and chances to improve his behavior and seek out professional help. Instead I broke up with him almost 2 weeks ago and that was followed buy complete no contact. I know it’s for the best and I feel so much less anxious and so much peace in my life without him. Let’s be clear that I did feel love towards this individual however his selfishness and upon more research, his narcissistic attitude drove me away for good. Using a counselor to guide me I had the breakup conversation using the telephone because I knew he would try and talk me out of it once again stating how he was ready to change and how I will regret my decision. I am happy to have followed her advice and clearly stated how I did not wish for him to call me compulsively or text me any longer as my decision was final this time. I do believe that this relationship with this unmedicated ADHD 32 year old man was abusive emotionally. I do believe that I need significant healing from dealing with gaslighting and other traits of a narcissistic character. No he was never formally diagnosed with any narcissism mood disorder but he fit so many of those boxes in addition to the ADHD. I’ve sought out help not just from the counselor but from various YouTube videos and narcissistic personality disorder abuse forums. It was hard to identify the selfishness. I did not even realize that it was a comorbidity. I only thought he had ADHD but how he made me feel was rotten. Everything you described above is what I’ve just gone through and decided to finally I’m so glad that you are thinking in this manner and I encourage you to end your suffering from this relationship as it is extremely unhealthy and will affect you for longer than you can estimate. Again, I feel so much relief and I am sure my blood pressure has gone down because I’m no longer anxious about what will go wrong next or how he will disrespect me or disappoint me with his lack of help and planning