Reply To: I feel like I’m just awful at my job

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#116601
RunningLateinSF
Participant

This is TOTALLY me at my work! I try and try and try but I am ALWAYS 15-20 minutes late in the mornings. I’m not late to meetings or scheduled things the rest of the day, just in the mornings. It makes me so frustrated because Ive tried all sorts of tactics to change it and I can do it for a few days but then resort back to natural late self. Its really a problem because the late thing overshadows all the good stuff I do at work. It becomes a “thing” and eventually I’m just sewen as a problem and no matter what else I do at work, even going above and beyond expectations sometimes, the “problem” fog still hovers around me wherever I go while at work. That makes me depressed and angry at myself which leads to lower self esteem and lower self confidence which causes me to second guess myself and be less sure of myself. The depression and low self esteem and the constant sting of continually letting myself and others down weighs on me and it’s hard to be in a “good” mood or have energy to do anything, let alone interact with my colleagues and friends, so then I find myself, alone, depressed, wallowing in self pity, beating myself up, disappointing my boss and co-workers,feeling awkward and becoming more and more socially awkward since I isolate myself and am alone most of the time… All of this downward spiral from just being 15-20 minutes late. It’s so dumb.