“How do I get my husband to realize the pain the rest of us are feeling is a healthy reaction to his unhealthy behavior?”
Unfortunately, I don’t think you can… if he’s willing to see a therapist, he or she may be able to do so, but I suspect that ADD works like other mental disorders – if someone is not willing to accept that they have a problem, there’s not much anyone can do. This is complicated by the fact that we ADD folk often honestly have no idea what we’ve done wrong to cause the chaos.
“The fact that you appreciate your spouse’s help is also key!”
That wasn’t easy, either. I think it took at least a couple of years before I was able to accept my husband’s coaching without bursting into tears or thinking that he hated me (Yeah, he deals with my chaos for 37+ years because he hates me – ha ha – you see where my twisty little brain takes me sometimes?).
“Thank you for your perspective!”
You’re more than welcome. I hope your husband will learn some new tricks sooner rather than later. Good luck to you…