Reply To: I'd rather be alone than ignored – normal?

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#116572
DonkeyLady
Participant

“…it’s more like the condition PREVENTS my husband from being AWARE of his symptoms and their consequences!” – I know I can’t speak for all ADD folk, but yes, that is it EXACTLY. 30 years ago, my hubby thought I was doing these things on purpose. My husband came with me to the head doctor for the dx – when she asked, “Do you ever interrupt?” I said “No.” Hubby incredulously said, “She does that ALL THE TIME!” I honestly have no clue that I am doing a lot of the stuff I do… I often find myself in the doghouse, AND I HAVE NO IDEA AT ALL WHAT I’VE DONE TO GET INTO TROUBLE!! It took my husband a long time to realize that he had to carefully explain that he was angry because I was ignoring him… only when we got to the point where he could point out that my ADD was leading me into trouble and *I* was able to learn to accept constructive criticism without throwing a hissy fit, was I able to actually begin to LEARN. I know that “normal” people don’t have to have everything explained… people like myself can’t perceive many things without having our faces rubbed in it (metaphorically speaking, of course). Your husband has to realize that he DOES have a problem – and then he has to learn to work with you so he can learn to work around his handicaps. Once again, it comes down to a lot of hard (and psychologically painful) work. My hubby and I go to all my ADD appointments together and he is my ADD coach (my doc recommended it, and helped him learn how to do it without going nuts)…

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by DonkeyLady. Reason: spelling error correction