I’m sorry, mama. My son was 3.5 when our daughter was born, and was finally diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety last month at almost age six. I can so relate to your exhaustion and struggle. One thing that helped me was remembering that we are our kids’ safe space, so, as unfair as it is, we see them at their most challenging. He may also sense that his world is about to change with the arrival of a new sibling. A resource I would recommend that has helped me gain insight and also some tools to try is Janet Lansbury’s Unruffled podcast. I listen in the car or whenever I can. She also has two books and a Facebook page. I have definitely learned that spanking and yelling get us nowhere with our son (and totally amp up the mom guilt). Plenty of outside time is best for us, where our son can scream and yell and explore to his heart’s content. I will say that our daughter, now 2.5, is a pretty tough cookie, having lived with a high energy ADHD brother who hasn’t been very gentle with her. He has never hurt her badly (and she has hurt him a time or two herself), but it’s been one of my biggest anxiety points since she’s been born. Lots of love to you!