Reply To: Outbursts of Anger


Dear Participant:
The first two questions that immediately come to mind are 1) does your wife have a formal diagnosis from a doctor and 2) is she on any medication?
My husband has ADHD and can be very difficult to live with at times, but he has never called me names or screamed at me. He is bipolar as well. My advice to you is if your wife hasn’t seen a doctor about this, then you need to make sure she does, if not for herself and your relationship, then definitely for the sake of the children. I can’t tell you how destructive her behaviour for the children. Kids are extremely sensitive to their parents moods and behaviors. I don’t know how young your kids are, but their needs are the most important. If your wife won’t see a doctor, then I highly recommend you and your kids get some counseling.
I would also recommend you do some research on ADHD and perhaps bipolar, as she may have one or the other. She certainly needs some help and so do you. If you have a local mental health department or such thing you could speak with them.
I know you must be feeling like you have no control,but you do. You control how you react to and handle your wife’s outbursts and you can ensure you talk to your kids about their fears and concerns. Having grown up in an alcoholic home I can tell you that it’s horrible when your home is filled with stress and fear. It affects who you grow up to be. Your kids deserve better and so do you and your wife. Knowledge is power. Arm yourself and get back your sense of control. Have a talk with your wife when things are calm and she is calm. See what she has to say, but make it clear that she has to get help.
Please update and let us know how things go. You are stronger than you think. Best wishes!