Reply To: Struggling to understand him

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Struggling to understand him Reply To: Struggling to understand him

#116162
Confuzzzed
Participant

Thank you all for responding. I’m still so lost as to what to do, but I think my brain knows what has to happen. I care for this man so much, but I care about my sanity more.

I’ve reached the unhappy stage. I’m tired of my needs going unmet even after kindly and clearly stating what I needed.

I started off asking in very loving ways that gradually spiraled to the angry demanding ways. This isn’t how I want to be toward anyone. I think once I realized I wasn’t “myself” anymore (asking angrily/building resentment toward someone I genuinely feel love for), it was a strong indication that the relationship is unsustainable for both of us. I don’t want to be unhappy or make him feel wrong for how his body and brain operate.

I’m eternally optimistic even when a situation feels hopeless. If there was ANYTHING I could do to make this work, I would. In a heartbeat. He’s an incredible man. I’m just totally hurt and completely lost.