Thanks for the reply. We have a lot in common. I copied a few things:
I was polite and stayed in my seat.
I don’t remember a great deal from childhood either, but I remember that I was never really happy.
I get bored incredibly easily with mundane tasks, I talk to myself, my brain is never quiet, it’s always thinking, remembering stuff I don’t want to think about and I hate spending long periods of time without mental stimulation.
I have never pushed myself to achieve as I was always scared of failure.
Maybe what you said about always knowing your brain wasn’t the same as everyone else’s is the same as my always being bewildered about what other people were even about, why they did the things they did, what they wanted from me, etc. That was worse in childhood so if that’s a symptom of ADD….
Being only recently diagnosed, maybe you understand the craving to be diagnosed. It’s both about wanting to be part of a group, and wanting there to be a reason besides that you’re stupid and lazy–there was a book with that in the title, as I recall. There’s also wanting to get some tips on dealing with it, but I can read those here without the bloomin’ diagnosis.
Do you have a favorite tip or two? A method for sorting out all the stuff there is to do that seems like too much to cram into one day? Or have you figured out how to not let it bother you?