Reply To: New Diagnosis & constant dread of losing relationship

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Hi Craig,

My best friend and I have known each other for 13 years and survived all of each other’s crazy outbursts in between although he has a really short fuse, but we make an effort to work it because we acknowledge that the other person is important and outbursts only stress out the other person. Everyone has crazy outbursts at some point in life because they are human.

It may take a while, but here are some methods that may help you.

1) Try to create some internal jokes about outbursts to diffuse it.
Whenever my other guy friend start yelling in his car on the way to work together at 7.30am, I need to tell him that we’re not having a rock concert in the car and he needs to focus on driving otherwise both of us are going to heaven really quickly if his car crash into something.

Most short fused people I know tend to have high blood pressure, so I would tell them to be careful and don’t dig their own graves. They became more careful about it so their outbursts reduced.

2) Spend some time with your girlfriend and friends.

Maybe plan some relaxing activities like movie nights, dinner out, barbeque or potluck where everyone do something. When you do things you guys enjoy, with your girlfriend around, it may reduce the clinginess.

3) Exercise before sleeping.

I usually tell myself, ok, no matter what shit things happened or shit things I did today, I will still do my push ups etc seriously and switch off all negative stuff when I’m exercising. I think building muscles make me feel more confident about myself because I can do the hard stuff no matter what. Sometimes I watch youtube videos about people’s workout journey to inspire myself because it’s also my personal goal to be fitter and stronger.

I think meditation is pretty boring so I usually clear my mind when I exercise.

Maybe if you think about things from a perspective of doing something you like every day, like listening to your favorite songs or doing something small you enjoy, improving yourself in some way (language, skills, exercise) it would make things easier for yourself compared to ‘getting your emotions in order’ or trying to become the most good natured person on earth.

Also, a relationship , work etc may be important parts of your life but it’s also important to take care of yourself in some way.