The quote about chaos is SO true! I have such a hard time with how disorganized our lives are if I don’t plan. It drives me nuts that there’s no plan for a day, or weekend, or vacation, or career move, or savings, etc., etc., unless I make one. It really makes me feel like we’re just stumbling through the days without purpose, or a common goal. I find that hard.
I also agree about how frustrating it is to watch an adult and child with ADHD spiral off each other. (In my case, my husband and son.) It feels like my husband often sets our son up to fail, then punishes him. Our weekends are so loud and dramatic compared to my days with them when my husband is at work. That makes me really sad for the kids. For example, my husband won’t give our son time to transition out of an activity, will suddenly decide that our son has to do something NOW, then when our son naturally gets upset and can’t turn on a dime, my husband gets super mad right away and jumps right into giving him a time out or something. It’s painful. I often step in to diffuse things, but it doesn’t help for our kids to see that we aren’t on the same page. And I know if my husband would just take 2 minutes to do something in a calmer, kinder way, my son would gladly comply. 🙁 We talk about it over and over, but in the moment he just can’t seem to parent any differently. I thought he’d have more compassion, since he should understand a lot of the struggles (because he struggles with the same things!!)