I don’t have great advice but I can relate to your experience. I was recently diagnosed with ADD after struggling at work and feeling overwhelmed at home. I have a similar position as you and the past few years the demands and constant interruptions and immediate responses have escalated. It has been increasingly difficult to keep up even for folks who do not have ADHD. I am still trying to figure out what to do as well with no time for family spending hours at the office to try to keep up. I am the primary income in the house so stuck right now. I totally get the shame of not being able to keep up at work or at home. Maybe trying to find a job that is not so rushed and time pressured on paperwork? Maybe a therapist in a school setting? Or a position that just focuses on a few things like just assessments so there is less things to have to remember and manage your time. Good luck to you! Hang in there!