Reply To: ADHD and loneliness

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You are not alone. Most with ADHD have similar problems and our anxiety on top of the ADHD makes things much worse than they actually are. First, it is best to be selective on who you consider a friend and who you choose to spend your valuable time with. You will find your people and I can probably count on 1 hand how many good friends I have. I’ve also had a few good friends drift into and out of my life over time. But always steer clear of toxic behavior in people. You do not have room in your busy brain for that.
Finding your people is hard and they are few and far between. You may find a few individuals that fill areas in your life and become good friends and may also embrace who you are. You should also seek a good ADHD coach or CBT therapist to help you work through the interpersonal problems you have. Just don’ fake it and be true to yourself. I figured that out after college. Now at age 50, I am very happy. I found someone who gets me and we’ve been married 22 years (she is the only neurotypical in the family). Neither of us have a lot of friends but we have found our people (or tribe as some call it).
I consider ADHD a gift or superpower. It is like an evolution of the brain in terms of creativity and/or intelligence. It would be a shame not to pass the gift of ADHD to the next generation, yet sometimes it deeply pains me to see my son go through many of the social issues you describe and that I have lived. I know it will pass and with the right support, he will find his way (just as you will).
Start with a positive attitude and use your powers for good. Build a good support team, start with a good doctor (psychiatrist) and therapist who understand adult ADHD. Note that it may take a while to find the right ones and dont be afraid to move on if you see no progress. I was lucky with a psychiatrist but went through 4 CBT therapists before I found one I could connect with, sort of like friends. I am still primarily a loner and sometimes wonder why I dont make friends easily but I am quite happy with where life has taken me.
Stay positive, build your team and find your people. Best wishes!