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Coming back to respond directly to the outbursts you described. When our daughter was 5, she aged out of her Montessori program and started a new school. We were overseas and we put her into a small music conservatory kinder/elementary. It was on a fenced in campus, and they had wild rabbits that lived and roamed freely on the campus. Our daughter would often disappear from the building, and they’d find her hiding out on the campus, tucked in a playground tunnel, or large rabbit warren. She would freak out when they lined up to go from one classroom to another–the kids were all supposed to put their hand on the shoulder of the person in front of them to stay together. She thought the boy behind her was being aggressive (he wasn’t, at all) and she turned around and shoved him to the ground. And the yelling, throwing, slamming at home as well.
The thing that we were doing differently that did not dawn on us until after she tested positive for dairy and egg sensitivity, was that we were packing her a high protein lunch every day (supposed to be good for ADHD kids!) with cheese, drinking yogurt, hard boiled eggs… Essentially we had totally set her up to be out of control. Once we identified the dairy and eggs, and removed them from her diet, we had our adventurous, easy-going girl back.