Reply To: 15 y/o daughter is begging to be put on ADD meds.

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#114037
cfeindt
Participant

I HAD to reply to this one as it seemed like I was reading my own thoughts! I have never logged in to respond, but this one was SO familiar.

Just this month, my 14-year-old daughter is asking to try meds for the very first time. We’ve known since Kindergarten that something was different. Then, unofficially diagnosed with classic ADD distraction by a psychologist when she was in 3rd grade. Unofficial, as we never continued service after diagnosis and discussion, so I never got any paperwork. Anyway, we know it, she knows it, many teachers know it.

Same as described by the original poster, we worked the “toolbox” trying to avoid medicines. We altered foods, supplements, and study methods. She struggled often but always came out OK in school. She had to work twice as hard as others at times, and often fell off the rails. She maintains A’s and B’s, but it’s never easy and requires constant reminders, nudges, timers, pushes, and rantings! I’m tired of helicoptering her workload, and she realizes it can’t continue this way.

Now, as a freshman in high school, she admits that she’s finally out of control a bit. Overwhelmed with so many different courses, assignments, schedules, and deadlines. She’s asking to try medication. Profoundly, she discussed the impact on her psyche if they “worked” for her. She said, “if I’m best with them, does that mean I’m not OK without them as I am naturally?” Kind of deep thinking there. I asked her if someone who needs glasses to help their eyesight is not OK. She saw my intent and we discussed at length. I’ve always explained it to her as her brain is just wired differently, with its own strengths and weaknesses. And as I see it, medication will help to bring it all together sometimes. It won’t change who she is and how she is wired forever.

I have yet to get her an appointment to get this ball rolling. My daughter is frightened by discovering a “new” self and way of seeing the world. She’s concerned about a lifetime need for chemicals in her body. Yet, we both see that she can use the assistance, and both wonder how far it can take her in life if she just tries it. I am SO thrilled to see someone else out there in such an incredibly similar situation. It gives me hope and spurs me onward. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for progress updates. It means a lot.