Reply To: I feel like I'm trapped


Hey there, what you’re going through sounds really hard and I think it’s great that you tried your best to solve it despite how difficult things get.

Moving from home school to full time school is like culinary school to working. Imagine only having a school test for 6 macarons then making a giant batch at work for a few hundred little macarons within the same amount of time. It takes more than effort and learning how to do things differently, I think my chef in charge made thousands of macarons before he can do it so easily by eye perfectly.

I wasn’t very good at working on my own for schoolwork sometimes so I did it together with some classmates. We all get distracted by random things but set a time limit for completing our work, despite my classmate always wondering what pizza to order or sometimes they need to remind me to get back to Earth. We would reward ourselves with our favorite snacks or watch a movie after that.

Maybe what is lacking in your situation is not effort but small rewards for yourself and/or a supportive teacher who may help you learn how to cope with your difficulties. Sometimes I could struggle for ages but my teacher will prompt me with questions or summarize things in 1 sentence so that I can understand quickly and know what to do, compared to a lecturer who talk for 3 hours and I still can’t absorb anything.

Poor attention to detail may be due to being burnt out and maybe anxiety from not being able to catch up. I often find myself making odd mistakes because I was trying to finish things quickly, like switching on the blast chiller but not pressing the blast chill button because I just wanted to move on to the next task. It can be hard to think spontaneously quickly and react quickly so sometimes I really need to stop myself and think what’s the most important thing right now. Or when I come across the same situation, I need to remind myself don’t overcook the eggs,keep checking it. Sometimes I would check at different stages otherwise I’d waste half a day of work and a few kg of expensive ingredients.