Thanks so much for posting this. I have ADHD, and many of symptoms have caused turmoil and ultimately ruined previous relationships.
I am lucky to be with someone now that is caring and patient, like yourself, and is willing to ride out the storm while I continue further treatment.
We have had several explosive fights that ultimately stem from my out-of-control symptoms, and his not being able to understand my condition. I do not blame him for that — he will never understand because he does not have ADHD. But he is trying, and that’s what matters.
Please be patient with your husband, and please continue to lead him through this process. Treatment is a scary road, and it’s even scarier when you’re walking it alone. It’s such a scary road that many people may choose to not even take steps on it; they’ve gotten used to the chaos after being so lost for so long. Not to put more pressure on you, but your “taking the lead” in some aspects of this process (as he clearly is not willing and/or not capable of doing at this point) may be the only way he takes the next step.
Be patient, the man you married is still there. He’s just lost, and your commitment to him will hopefully lead him in the right direction.