Best advice I can say, is ADHD never goes ‘away’ even with medication.
Medication for me, has helped give clarity and helps me prioritize my thoughts, tasks etc. I can always tell when it kicks in bc it’s like someone’s turned on the light in a dark room or I’m wearing glasses for the first time.
The first step, is not self-diagnosis, but getting a real diagnosis. They range from being a very basic questionnaire to a more-in depth diagnosis (ie Spect scan).
I have occasional “meltdowns” that hit me, & for me–the medication doesn’t keep these from happening. I’m on the asd spectrum—so that’s why that happens for me.
For the most part, I don’t deal with depression–so I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
Not every ADHD person is going to be a simple—stimulant only prescription
Some people might require an SSRI+stimulant—-it really depends on what your brain “needs.” That’s why I push the Spect scans, w/o seeing your brain, most Dr’s/ourselves–we’re just guessing & playing trial by error.