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I have two kids, both now in their late 20’s, who went through the same things, although my son much more than my daughter. We had an IEP, which was pretty useless as it made no demands on the school and required that my son do everything.
Anyway, I researched the hell out of learning issues for kids with ADHD, especially when they wanted to put him in a 2nd grade reading level while he tested at an 8th grade level (he was in 4th grade). They (being the school) based this decision on his lack of ability to read out loud.
What my research showed was that kids with ADD/ADHD when reading to themselves skip over the small, inconsequential words such as “the”, “of”, “to”, etc. so they can read quickly while still comprehending the material. When it came time for my son to read out loud, though, he stumbled and stuttered and barely got through a paragraph.
Even though my son was in a “Talented and Gifted” (TAG) program, the teachers and administrators didn’t understand how his brain worked.
There is a good book I found about teaching kids with ADD/ADHD that would probably benefit you to read because it will, in all likelihood, give you additional tools for being your son’s best advocate. I don’t remember the exact name of the book but it was something along the lines of “Teaching the ADD/ADHD Child(or teenager)”. It was an oversized, softcover book.
Once we had the reading issue straightened out, we addressed his problems with taking tests/quizzes and his extreme avoidance to standing in front of his class to give a report.
For both of these problems, we put in his IEP that he be allowed to 1) verbally respond to test questions asked by the teacher in a one-on-one after-school session, and 2) present his report to the teacher, again in a one-on-one session before or after school.
One other thing I will say about your son’s diagnosis-according to every bit of information and every report I’ve read, a true medical diagnosis entails more than asking survey questions of his family and teachers; it should encompass a complete neuropsychological exam to determine the extent that ADHD affects the performance of everyday tasks and executive functioning. Based on that information, a determination should be made as to the correct medication and appropriate dosage. My suggestion would be to not rely on your pediatrician, but to find a children’s mental health or counseling program and have him evaluated there, and appropriate medications monitored by doctors who specialize in treating childhood ADD/ADHD.