Reply To: Do ADHDers lose interest in people easily? Am I just not good enough?

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Do ADHDers lose interest in people easily? Am I just not good enough? Reply To: Do ADHDers lose interest in people easily? Am I just not good enough?

#113017
nvalefreedom
Participant

Hugs to you. Her behaviour reminds me of myself in my teens (I have ADHD). I often had emotionally intense and volatile relationships, complete with expecting guys to read my contradictory mind. I also quickly got bored and discarded them. This had NOTHING to do with them, and everything to do with my own dissatisfaction with myself and life in general. Even Brad Pitt (not that I stood a chance with him!) couldn’t have held my interest permanently.

Even though I genuinely cared about people, I still inflicted attention seeking and manipulative behaviour on them. I enjoyed seeing how much they were into me. I know this is hard to hear and you want to give her intentions the benefit of the doubt. It doesn’t mean she’s not a beautiful person inside – it just means she has a lot of growing up to do.

On the basis of my own past yo-yo behaviour, she may want to reestablish your relationship at some point. Or you are probably trying to win her back right now. As much as I would like to advise you to stay away whilst both of you grow more emotionally stable, I’m guessing you won’t like that option.

So I just want to remind you to take care of your own emotional boundaries – if you really want to care for her in the long-term, you have to protect your own mental health in the short-term. I guarantee she will find a self-confident boy with a flourishing life much more attractive than one whose life revolves around her. She may say the opposite out of insecurity, but her actions have already proven otherwise.