Reply To: Advise for an adult

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Advise for an adult Reply To: Advise for an adult

#112841
Wagner2020
Participant

First and foremost, you have made the most important discernment by understanding that you are dealing with something different than most people. One of the most important things you must do is properly explain to your doctor what your life is like. You should be able to explain both routine difficulties as well as the challenging situations you encounter on a routine basis.

Some of what you described in your original post are compensatory techniques that those of us with ADD/ADHD have all managed to create for ourselves. It’s part of survival in the real world. What you (and anybody else for that matter) want with ADD treatment is to get closer to an even playing field than your natural mental-state provides you with. It probably won’t be perfect, but think of having some sort of improvement on the things that fall into the difficult areas of your life. It’s difficult for those of us with ADD/ADHD to ask for help because (for some strange reason – and I personally think its due to the compensatory measures we have developed over our lifetimes) we don’t feel like we deserve it. We deserve it – trust me. The other thing that makes it difficult when pleading your case to a doctor (or anybody else) is that having ADD/ADHD doesn’t always provide the cognition necessary for a person with ADD/ADHD to create and/or formulate a good case for needing treatment. Many times, our minds are so discombobulated that we have difficulties explaining stories in a logical manner with the intent to make a solid and lasting point. Most times our stories (arguments/points) come out piecemeal and scattered and thereby fail to emphasize the full intent of the discourse being shared or explained to another person. So, when dealing with a very intelligent person (doctor) we ADD’ers many times shy away and don’t want to rock the boat – because deep down inside, many of us are simply tired of having other people lord over us and tell us that we are wrong and that we are thinking of the situation all wrong, etc., etc. Although this is a real and very deeply-rooted feeling, this isn’t the correct way to go about this. You must be brave and prepare yourself as much as possible and know that you deserve to be heard. If you feel the doctor isn’t listening to you, or you simply can’t get your points across due to the aforementioned difficulties with explaining oneself, then you need to look for another doctor – one that will put you at ease and allow you to explain yourself.

You deserve to get help. A compassionate doctor will listen to you and try to help you as best they are able. The world (particularly the workplace) doesn’t care about your condition. The world only cares about results – and if you can’t remember instructions, direction, make succinct decisions required of you, then the world will push you aside. That is the harsh reality of this condition and not seeking help. Believe me, I’ve been there, and at the age of 50 having recently been diagnosed, can tell you that the world didn’t wait for me – didn’t care about my shortcomings and simply moved on and pushed me aside in a number of situations. Its hard enough competing in this world with even-footing, don’t hamstring yourself by not trying to improve your situation by seeking help.