I experience this same thing.
Or if I’m just becoming friends with someone, that “connection” part that I remember happening when I was younger just doesn’t HAPPEN. My recent experience, is that when I offered to take an acquaintance (I was trying to become better friends with) to go to Medieval Times bc I had free tickets, she asked if her bf could come too. I prob should’ve said, “No, I just really want this to be a girls thing/us thing.” But, I panicked—she didn’t offer that he’d be paying his own way–which was akward. Did she expect me to give him a free ticket too? So I ended up mailing her two free tickets. She kinda hounded me for them, and then when I sent them through the mail, I didn’t even get a “thank you.” Felt used, but I should’ve spoken up.
I finally “unfriended” her bc I asked her, like you, “how she was doing” and just got ignored. She was online, but this is the 2nd/3rd time it’s happened. I see her post stuff & think, how can you become friends w/someone if they don’t engage. Othertimes, we’d chat & it’d be all good. Me, I don’t tolerate that kind of crap. People are complex, but friendships should not be a “struggle” like this. I say…”NEXT.”
There’s another thread on here about me & another girl talking about this same thing.
Is what we’re experiencing bc society is changing/values, is it our ADHD brains, is it the people we choose to make friends with.
I struggle with this myself & it seems that I only connect with independed, adhd/asd types who aren’t trying to have an advantageous friendship.