Reply To: Struggling with Loneliness

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ericamcl
Participant

Dearest Sierra and Skypa, I’m a mom of a son with ADHD and he struggles to make and keep friends. He doesn’t understand why, but I do. My heart breaks for him as sometimes I feel that no one else can see the amazing humor and heart that I see! I don’t know either of you, but it’s possible you ARE turning people off by giving the wrong social cues. When my son meets people, he glances at them but doesn’t hold eye contact, he mumbles, his shoulders slouch over, he often talks at them instead of with them…too concerned with what he’s projecting or wants to say than with listening to the other person. I know he would get so much further socially if he stood tall, shoulders back, wore a smile, sustained eye contact, LISTENed actively to the other person and then asked wondering questions…or responded to their questions with clear, honest answers. Body language, eye contact, a friendly smiling face. Try that. Fake it ’til you make it:-) even if you’re not feeling confident. And remember, so often if someone doesn’t respond well to you, it’s not about you. Everyone is going through their own battles…you’re not the only one who feels insecure and imperfect. You can’t know why sometimes people aren’t open to new friendships. But if you’re giving off the right, positive vibe…just keep doing it! Things will come around.